Divorce mediation is a highly structured process. The goal of divorce mediation is to facilitate a mutually-agreeable outcome for divorce cases with outstanding disputes. If spouses have not yet agreed on how they should address their property or other important aspects of their divorce, they may feel like litigation is inevitable. However, litigation can be expensive, time-consuming and disempowering. Those who want control over the divorce process or privacy may prefer to mediate instead of litigating.
How can those who agreed to attend divorce mediation protect themselves and push for a fair outcome to the process?
Come to the table with a proposal
Divorce mediation typically involves a group conversation followed by a facilitated discussion. The mediator acts as a neutral third party who helps the spouses with communication and compromise. It can be difficult to jump into the mediation process without anything to guide the spouses. Some people kick-start the mediation process by presenting their spouses and the mediator with a proposed settlement.
Review disclosures thoroughly
One of the primary concerns in a mediated divorce is ensuring a fair outcome. Those who understand the full extent of their marital estate are in a strong position when negotiating. They need to have accurate, up-to-date information about shared assets and financial responsibilities so that they can counter suggestions with more appropriate and reasonable terms.
Find tools for limiting emotional reactions
One of the reasons mediation can be helpful is that it promotes calm communication. Frequently, people preparing for divorce have intense emotions even when they view the divorce as necessary or beneficial. People hoping to succeed during divorce mediation often need to ensure that they control their emotions, not the other way around. Some people intentionally try to make their spouses emotional during mediation to make them appear unreasonable to the mediator and manipulate the outcome to their benefit. Spouses preparing for mediation may need to practice calming techniques and learn about high-conflict communication skills before attending the mediation session.
Spouses who secure legal support before divorce mediation may improve their chances of reaching a mutually-agreeable settlement. Preparing carefully before mediation can make it easier for people to navigate what can be a lengthy and emotional process.
